I still have the strength ... that sucks ... I swear I will not touch alcohol, the more my guts for a very long time ... it is better not end up like Bridget Jones ... you better be aware of their own shit ... Last night I split the world, perhaps ... with a gin and lemon in a sex on the beach body I felt already grow there at Grace, a little reassuring warmth that usually, for good or evil, know how to comfort me ... but with that hideous dress that rose continuously, the anxiety that they were already rippling hair and the slight ache I could not even head to be myself, to make casino on ... I was just an idiot trying padded his eyes in search of a mole do not know what ... sure if he came I would run away ... or maybe not even there ... but I talk to has had the decency, now I say, not to present ... we started ... and the enthusiasm in the car passed slowly ... we'll go and what the fuck do I? Take me sick all night and just wait ... wait ... we enter the table costs a mistake, I already run for a while ... maybe I was better, but the fleeting illusion of a sudden change after I destroyed with lemon gin gin of gay, pure spirit ... not to mention the cuba Paul, a 34 year old idiot that I blossomed into happy face ... I got up, staggered ... defamed the dirty thirties who they tried ... I tried to dance but among the lights, music, everything was going terribly ... I laughed of course, but that slight melancholy to dance with me each step, as in the dream of a midsummer night ... and go to the bathroom, take a ride ... familiar faces, the idiots of all time ... night away ... but it is not at all 4 are sprawled on the sofa on which side was gold ... I just keep talking with the world (not saying what we know ...) to dance to the beat walk to Paul ... they want to go away ... and who cares .... for hand to hand Gaia among the people, avoiding eye horny, Toccata, "Hello Beautiful" and much more ... finally we go out, on the sea ... a bit of fresh air ... walking: one foot after another, one two, one, two, to the parking lot ... and while I speak alone (they said), I repeat I do not know what ... Piero, my preferred parking, it gives me good night ... and in the car because I go into a coma ... I wake up in the Gaia in search of the keys ... At home, wow ... it's good to be back at that hour, when everyone is asleep ... just the house, she is an accomplice of your madness: he always knows what time you come back, and as no shoes ... , on all fours ... take what you drop like a mother would do: the bag, the shirt, the keys ... and takes you to read my little house ... yes ... she is always there for me. .. knows my every secret, every tear, every outburst, every illegal call, every phone call yet ... shut up ... are in bed ... but I do ... I turn around constantly, as I have a fever ... I'm hot, sweat, and something in my head I crush, press, not even knock, knock, stronger .. . will not let me stay a moment and pick up the phone ... boh ... and then I think, I think of everything ... I think of him, then that asshole ... suddenly I have the chills, I curl up .. . I do not know ... I went on until 11 o'clock, in full frenzy ... with the disgusting taste of gin that I inflamed throat, and made me vomit ... I open my eyes: a brothel .... the phone is thrown to the ground, the clothes are everywhere .... I get up, I do not know ... I got to the bathroom ... I do ... I go down, there in the kitchen Mom ... pick up the phone ... oh no no ... what the fuck cazzo.no I've done yet? possible that I do not do right? should not be so ... no ... always ruin everything. .. E 'afternoon, and the head is still a train station, a continuous roar, the smell of the brakes ... thoughts come and go, but without any order, at times clashing ... I can not put them in row, as a time ... this time we will think for themselves ... If I had my way I could take the world now, putting an end to this horrible torment that haunts me ... some people in trouble you put yourself, and complains ... and who, like me, it always gets in the ass for the mess of others ... sometimes I think things are so simple, that life serves up to us a silver tray occasions, the way out ... but really prefer to feel bad .... we cling to the greedy beast that is the will, We are never complacent and we end up with nothing ... just be wandering shepherds, travelers. .. In the end we will have seen the world of course, but my heart is empty and rootless ... we have our refuge, our home, we feel alone and lost in that universe "experience" ... mourning the small garden ... and other life wanting to die ... realize they were just passing in the past (/ wasted ..)...
film is like life ... with the boring parts cut out! Yes indeed right now chat with Hitchcock there I would make (the phrase is his) to review some ... His film is not enough: I really need some advice from the master ... not because of the thrill, of course, boredom kills me ... just meditate revenge ... ruthless ... even Tarantino would probably be very helpful: but I know him, began pulling out their throats cut, various torture, cutting of fingers, blowtorch ... I need something more refined ... the beast should not feel physical pain (although ....)... must kill himself alone for the guilt, should tear up inside ... with a gutting knife in public or themselves on fire ... The nightmares haunt him day and night, not able to sleep nor to eat (which would be to him only a present and then say you abbufferà to death !!!), nor more will come out of the house, will come to fear anyone, first friends (which will eliminate one by one) ... and then himself, at the height of folly even his own face he will scream, he will hate himself ... ask forgiveness. ... .. beg to that after my "fuck you", will end its infamous existence ... After the heartbreaking post on Monday was followed by cries muffled by the cushion, scleritis crazy, thoughts of suicide ... until one day, with the accuracy on Wednesday, I realized it was time for payback, no regrets Nostalgic all that was: no one could bring me into that state without my consent, I would have done under! And here I am, ready and how to fight in the arena Massimo Decimo Meridio, "I shall have my revenge in this life or another !!"... look like the memories of a crazy I know, or exit from an overdose of barbiturates or valium. ... it's really just my stupidity to speak, together, finally, anger truer !!!... Until a few days ago I would have kicked, if only to not be able to hate him: I felt that a Part of me would have forgiven, it would fall at his feet, again, like a bad dream forgetting his huge dick ... and certainly could not afford it ... it took was seeing him again, but ... and everything changed: I did not want to run from him ... but invest it!! That bastard of two meters, the beast in fact, was now just a "thing" nameless, faceless, with no appeal for me ... I'm not the type who forgets easily, in fact I do not say that this story has completely stopped me sick, but at least now I know it's closed ever, is past, and that will not go back .... if not to infamy and punish him as he deserves! ah ah ah ... 
goodbye ... and yet ... ... just ... my predictive ability of modern Cassandra does not like me much anymore, because I do not like her that the evil in me I know what's going to happen, I feel it creeping tricky ... but the difference is that I always did not want to believe, until it crushes me and makes me unhappy and stupid ... .. Yesterday, just hours before, I was thinking ... and, let's face it, I remain under the illusion that only my beliefs, my silly worries have come true ... instead, clinging to me, around me, writhing like a disgusting carnivorous plant all night ... it took me to free myself, and breathe again: last night there like an idiot with the cell phone in hand I could not get into the air, and throw it out ... for a moment I hoped that almost never happens again ... This morning I look back, yawning, and I wonder whether it is better this way ... if indeed he has not had the "courage" that I had ... I realized recently that it was far away, that does not look more in same direction, that I was wanting to take up the plan has lost its leaves, dry branches and roots, which was eradicated ... the problem is that I was too attached to that dream, that warm glow of happiness, not I could let it go .... If my hands were like butter would have slipped away from me in a moment, maybe I would not have even noticed ... but it was like my own private sun gave me joy, I just I saw it: sometimes we get too close to me, terribly burned ... but if I did it with caution could give me the warmth I needed .... as private ??... From one point of view has remained a small fortune: the anger in me is the only way (for dicono. ..^^) say goodbye, this time forever ... If you had gone well, so uncertain, as sketched out a framework and never finished, then maybe one day I would have liked to complete the outline ... but it was "good": a few words were enough to wake me in the blackest hatred for me to delete what is good and beautiful had been among us in those words ... yes, the nights were buried under the stars, his kisses, his hands on my skin, motor races, looks cute, walking hand in hand .... and now I'm just afraid that even in those moments I was alone with myself ... these days I read a wonderful book ... probably some of us are like twin primes from 0.17 to 19 0.41 to 43 are ... so close together, yet they never manage to brush her really, it being lost and alone .... I have a feeling, alas, that my number is the first twin of many others, and that the only answer to my question is that life will be all alone ... The fact remains, however, this bitter taste on the palate, this headache, this urge to burst into tears ... I feel guilty now, for the time wasted, for the energies that I threw away so that he would gather and not stored carefully as the shells on the beach ... some were so rare and wonderful that, let us say, certainly not worthy .... I can not say what I feel: I'm not just angry with him ... maybe I went too forward, and now it's hard, it hurts ... I'm tired of being the brief pleasure of someone else, the temporary trinket to throw in the trash with the remains of dinner ... it is true that the little ant is the only animal to carry on his back 50 times its weight ... but it is so fragile that it takes very little to destroy it, something out ... but also immense and terrible sense of emptiness ... I sit here waiting for something to change and I am upset ... I meditate on that message, numb, like Madame Bovary with her basket of apricots, a part of me wants to throw at the wall, pulp and watch them slide down slowly to stay there to rot ... but, knowing me, I think I am going to eat up ad nauseam ...
Farewell ... summer eh ... I'm not committing suicide .. what remains of these days and months when fishing is red, sweet and juicy and hard at the same time I am slowly tearing apart and devouring .. . I do not know how many fish I ate this year, walnut, hairy (true Gaia), yellow, white, more or less mature ... but this is different: you will carry away the summer ... that is why the " kills slowly ... savor every bite, as the moments that I lived, giving a sense ... and everyone knows that soon all disappear ... lie down in my stomach like every dear memory is contained in my head, but the idea of \u200b\u200bthis fruit so sweet, the scent will stay with me in the autumn, in the chill of winter, until next summer .... few hours ago I said hello to the sea, the beach, my little house .... and now they are Quarrata, again ... this morning, though stunned by the few hours of sleep, I made the jump overturned while returning to the village as soon as possible ... and now that there are, strangely, I regret it ... what the fuck am I doing here? Sta resurfacing something under my skin, something I wish I had buried for at least a lot of time ... now here again: it moves like an insect crawling, making me itch, I scratch a nervous tremendous ... with sandpaper to make him stop, disfigured, the beautiful golden skin tear to view it gushes out with a gush of blood .... but I do not have the strength, I never had .... The strength, I believe, just be honest with myself ... I feel that within me there ' is something that must come out, but I can not pull it off, I do not know how to do ... probably has a name ... he always gives me anxiety, nausea sometimes, when you think you're not in front of a paradise and on the brink of hell .... there is no peace, there is a moment in which to say "finally" ... all changes in such a short time that you hardly know it, of ask whose fault it was, or what you've done this time to bring down another piece of the wall .. I know that many hands are out there ready to welcome me ... but I love her .... and not afraid to to my knowledge that I hurt them so I highly slam, and returned to bask in my many because ... Maybe I just need to raise his head, still hear that voice, to drown in those eyes and that smile, be crushed by those arms .... even if it's really all that kills me ... fishing is over ...
Sardinia on the road! here I am! I'm back in Quarrata ..... .... that sucks! Luckily again .... but now ... strategic with my balls! Short, are a whole complains: Move from San Teodoro Quarrata city is not exactly the best if not for review ....( A. ...) We spent one week show, and I'm surprised because we were fine without booze and sleepless nights! Let us go back start going, I say 2 or 3 things .... It starts on Saturday morning, 9: am in the Church Square at 5: Who takes the navigator? I! And the shit works? Certainly not! That is the port of Livorno, but there surrenders know and better attrezzzarsi ... mah! However, everything ok, the sea is calm and lets me calm my tummy ... but those six hours to spend there wanted to go! cards, sleeping, walking on the bridge. .. and finally here we are! Among trinkets and we nannoli home at 6 o'clock, because that idiot of D. Paper he has made to wait an hour before the distributor grant us the honor of having the keys ... dear woman .... luckily our nest is a love: a little house with a garden full of trees, a veranda overlooking the sea (as the song is ... ) and plenty of room for 7 women and their bullshit! and then and then ... it's been a week ... clock more or less early, breakfast with pastries, cookies, chocolate and the ever-pan top box lunch ... always sandwiches, boni boni ... lots of sun, sea ... dinner? Pasta, salads, all! What mattered was not that we ate ... but the shit that flew around that table (I admit, most of the time from my little mouth too, because you think ...!!)!! to 7 girls with men at home, half horny, horny, and half silly, add me (and imagine everything!), the song, "Cicci, you did promise to spring" (from Sara Venditti) and all its variants, an older home isolated or not .... and the carver center! Who is this? His fame has come down to the continent: a good nero carving wood to San Teodoro! not you think I'm going to know? ? no Bah! And now I've got the photo well with a kind of Bob Marley, on 40, so long rasta !!... by the way ... I have also another picture of that ... I ... that earned him a dinner with Marco Meloni! Do not be surprised: I have found out who was the same night! She had to dance to the Pata Pata ... that sucks ... but there is a guest: is him, the "forfeiture" of men and women (say, I do not watch it!) up ... then we animate the evening: I had not even ever seen, still do not know what constitutes quell'adorabile program and ... I improvised his big fan! I threw him a bouncer, people just met, strangers, screaming "I love you Mark, where are you?'re just my"! rant, so much so that everyone laughed, my friends were ashamed , responding to people asking if I was normal or at least half briaca! and finally ... the pictures with that idiot! While I waited I got to say two things about him from a friend and when my turn came. .. jumped on him, kissing him, hugging him, making him do not know what he looked at me and compliments ... frightened and asked the audience "but have you paid?" ... At least Rice has run for a while, and now I have the photo with a decent fio among other things, he discovered a lover in all of Italy! Ah ah ah ah! then tell you what: in the house was always brothel women crazy (some more than others!) With many dear pets I drew that I (and I had!) As St. Francis, various insects, geckos, crickets, grasshoppers, skunks .... a dog ... and the mice in the garden .... Those eh, do not be afraid! I threw it away without drinking and shit ... exaggerated! It took the trip only female ... to talk about us (and of lust!), get together like old times ... yes yes, I'm happy and I thank my girlfriends ... ... I love them hoes!
s'ha doing enough?! do not believe it! By this evening finally concludes in the sweaty crazy pizza! Last Tuesday every night from midnight to 18.00/19.00 to stretch the dough, pizza sauce, clean the entire kitchen. .. I'm going crazy! The pizza has always been my favorite dish, but after this time will pass before it touches my mouth! Not to mention that I'm slowly brewing to be there: the wrong pizza or too small, crisps from the kitchen, the shorts with nutella ... from tomorrow on a diet! are destroyed .... swimming pool and sea in bits and pieces I have rested too much ... I just want to vacation hours! Gradually, Saturday touches me too ... 7 beautiful girls walking around in Sardinia .... also are beginning the preparations!
this morning had a look around and dresses, costumes, slippers, etc. ... of an apple (not me, I have to do better ....!!!) discuss how to organize the cars ... I have advised (Ugh ... just me) to take only 13-14 CID boarding and disembarking from the ferry ... good idea! ah ah ah!
am euphoric idea of \u200b\u200bleaving: rental only women are beautiful, always ... We expect the worst crap and figures of m. .., laughter, booze to scream !!!.... except that someone is missing ... better not think about it ... so now I go the days go by .... to slam on the couch ... I have swollen ankles as old and pregnant women ... not a good thing, no no!
