six months, almost seven ... it all happened in this period, many things upset me in one way or another, and all have given a new face to my life ... And if we now continue to stay silent I would give the impression of being only a frignona, who uses the blog to write about his misfortunes daily, instead of life, the real one, which certainly has its sad side, but sometimes also know as the blog will not be surprised ... was my only refuge from the world, was and is the friend who needs to know everything about me ... the person who despite everything is still the same ... Perhaps the novelty is one, and it is this that has changed the background everything else, has made it less painful ... I do not know if it is expected that the surprise ... but then abducted and blindfolded me, led me into a world where everything is about me, where can I make stupid faces and figures that I like so much, that I can laugh or cry, say and do what I want: it is as if I had found the solution to the puzzle, and now I was myself with another me ... except that now everything is less scary under the bed, inside closets, in the dark of night there is not nothing to scare me ... is the strength that I lacked the security that I need ... is the sweetness ...." this kind of thing, "as he called at the beginning, is becoming more and more" my sweet little thing "...
In March, the father was bad ... The strong man inside and out, the athlete healthy and vigorous, my icon of elegance and beauty, our strength still, my and my family, suddenly, one evening, he stumbles ... Within hours, quiet and smiling the whole universe turned against us , became black and gloomy, hopeless, hopeless ... I was there, stunned, I called him crying, hugged him with tears that I quartered the face ... and I watched his face, so different, so unreal, staring, lifeless, without the slightest emotion, with the harrowing fear of losing it forever ....
Now is better health "is" ... but we know that the father, husband, man of the past are gone ... they left that on March 19, for the "Festa del Papa", leaving him and so much fear in us ... Who knows ... He knows confident, funny, kind, elegant, first of all have given way to soul 'abject insecurity, loneliness, two sad eyes as the dark winter sky ... The body young and healthy has received a warning: time is ticking for everyone, and in one way or another always upsets ... In my heart I know how he got the cold will go away, will return to the calm in his eyes ... sweet return to protect us all as it has done, his girls with his jealousy, his wife, his sisters with his love strong and proud ... wait ....
In all this I left out one thing: the first I've seen in the hospital that night was "my sweet little thing" has been with me all night, I was close to himself, talking about everything cpmpreso football, reassuring in an almost unreal about the situation ... and 'every day to see the past and find it, always asking how I was, in fact experimenting with this ... They took care of me in those moments so painful, and continued to do every day, even now, when the worst has passed but Sometimes anxiety is ... I remember his face that night, or read him in the eye when I talk or eat at the table in silence ... I can not tell mom wing, already suffers too: I take the phone and I say to him ... But it's usually not the answer: he sees himself, by my eyes, my voice, that something is wrong ... and always makes up in some way ...
It amazes me every day, not with flowers, not with gifts ... but for what it says, for the most pure gestures ... it's like a baby in my arms, has the innocence and simplicity I still believe that only stupid to keep a sweetness without limits ... Perhaps unknowingly can give me security, comfort anyone would know, is incredidile ... Sometimes I talk with friends, but I know that there are no words ... Only I know I have next to "my special little person," which, as the friend of the heart, there's always giving you attention, makes you sentitre important: indeed, as the little prince with its pink, its his attention that makes it important to you ... It makes me feel unique in the world, the nicest, sweetest, most intelligent ... sa give you an idiot, you know to tell you when you miss, the other is yourself ... I feel better next to him, because although you know what you are worth, and you must convince yourself it's nice to see that special someone in your law, you really know how to ... and above all he tells you, makes you see when you down and discourage you ... I has crept in slowly, turning away all doubt and fear, to desert again to someone else ... and suffering .. .. I learned to love again, as if nobody had ever done wrong .... I learned a lot, even about myself, to be less selfish, to have more hope ... Now I know: HE is there ...
0 comments:
Post a Comment